please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
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