so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
You took a bar mat shot.
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Randomize
