So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
So the revenge porn my ex posted just resulted in a contract with a gay porn company. I'm going to make $8,000 this weekend. That would a breakup checkmate. Are you joining me in the legislative committee hearing tomorrow?
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
Randomize
