my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
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