Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
Randomize
