Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
Randomize
