I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
I think a kid would responsible me up
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
Randomize
