Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
Randomize
