just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
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