I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Randomize
