i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
Randomize
