I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
Oh my god, are you sexting me while watching the Democratic debate.
100%
Now I'll never know if it was me that got you worked up, or Bernie Sanders' social policies.
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
Randomize
