I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
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