I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
birth control should be required to get into college
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
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