you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
Randomize
