I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
Molly wanted me to tell you, "she hasnt shit on the floor in a while" like she thinks its an accomplishment.
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
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