That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
Randomize
