Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Randomize
