You're my little dorito
So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
Randomize
