Dual....:-)
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
Randomize
