Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
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