Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
my phone is just a graveyard for last nights mistakes. at least it's giving me hints as to where i was though, i'm like carmen sandiego
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
Randomize
