im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
Randomize
