i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
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