his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
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