omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
Randomize
