I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
Babe! I just farted and I swear to jesus lord christ that it sounded like ur name! Ok, more like Meeatt but still... awesome.
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
Randomize
