dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
My unemployment check should really just be direct-deposited into the checking account of my drug dealer
I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
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