it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
Judging by the garbled spelling in the calendar reminders in my phone, drunk me really wanted sober me to take a pregnancy test today.
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
Randomize
