No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
Randomize
