She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
you didnt know i had herpes?
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
Randomize
