1:32a: I quit. signing up for eharmony. Don't judge
The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
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