guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
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