rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
Opening beer with my teeth is getting easier the drunker I become.
It turns out my teeth are bleeding.
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
Randomize
