So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
Turns out that my surprise "happy birthday" drop-in for my dad turned into a "my parents like afternoon sex a lot" realization.
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
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