Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
Randomize
