i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
Randomize
