**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
Randomize
