well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
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