i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
Randomize
