dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
Randomize
