so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
You had me at "let me see your balls"
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
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