What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
Randomize
