there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
WHO CARES HE GIVES YOU TOE CURLING ORGASMS AND SAYS YOU HAVE KISSABLE SKIN AND RUNWAY MODEL HAIR....WHILE INTOXICATED WITH HIS BEST FRIEND. AND THEN HE SENDS YOU CUTE SELFIES OF THEM!!!!!!! WTF MORE DO YOU WANT FROM LIFE!!! DIE HAPPY ALREADY LADY!!!
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
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