Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
I FOUND THE LEGS
He was all “please don’t bail because I’m missing work for this” last night
Honey no, I need dick. I’m not going to bail
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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