the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
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