dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
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