You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
Randomize
