Sry I called you an 8
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
If the guys trying to booty call text me could see me right now in some raggedy pajamas with toothpaste down the front of my shirt eating pepperoni out of the package they might change their minds
Randomize