HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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