I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
Randomize
