sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.
Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
Randomize
