I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
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