I must be too annoying 4 u.
i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
Randomize
