i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
Reggie can tackle my bush.
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
Sex in the backyard? Check.
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
Randomize
