And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
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