There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
Randomize
